Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
