You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
