so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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