im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
