so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
