I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
