You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
