Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize