i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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