Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I love having hate sex.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
