i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
