If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
