ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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