Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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