we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
