What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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