Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
