hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The Olympian is in my bed
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
