I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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