I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize