you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
