I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you would pick up someone in the library
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
