You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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