I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
