He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just want nice things and good sex
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Congratulations! We have a period
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
