bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
