my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
