I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
