I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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