I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
