Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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