tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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