why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
