your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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