I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
