My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
