There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
True strength comes from lack of pants
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
