Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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