We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize