what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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