You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
