...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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