Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
