I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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