I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
