I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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