I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
