its not stalking. its research.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
