I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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