Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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