hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm too high and old for this...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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