He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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