Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
