Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
