life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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