i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
