So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
