I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
