I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
